Supernatural: Whispers
by Nicklovessunrises
Summary: Dean struggles with being a demon, which leads to an inner battle of the mind that threatens to tear him apart. *Disclaimer: I do not own characters, places, etc. for they belong to the amazing Eric Kripke.*
1. The Less Human Thing

_A new kind of life. He said it would be a new kind of life. _Resentment suddenly swelled within Dean, catching him off guard. He balled his hands into fists. _If this is my new kind of life, I want a friggin' refund! _

His words echoed within his mind, each syllable like a knife at his skull. He tried groping for words, but his tongue failed him. Every part of his body ached with pain, each muscle strained in tension.

The clothes he wore felt like metal weights, his jeans and jacket caked with dirt and blood. And that was what Dean Winchester often built his life on: dirt and blood.

At that moment, Dean couldn't decide which part sucked more: the waking up, or the waking up to seeing Crowley standing over him. He wanted to scream, shout, do _anything _to alleviate the rage bubbling inside of him, yet he couldn't grasp a single breath.

Dean tried to sitting up, but immediately a knife of pain ran up the length of his back. Crowley rushed forward. "Woah, easy there tiger. Wouldn't want to… break a leg."

_Smug son uva' bitch _thought Dean. He rested down, yet still felt odd. Almost… disembodied, different. He wanted to unleash wrath, yet rest all the same. _What is happening to me? _

And then he knew. He saw his eyes reflected in Crowley's. _Black as night. _

He would have gasped or maybe even cried, but his body wouldn't allow it. He was sharing it with something… less human. The less human thing seemed to have a mind of it's own, shouting at him to wreak horror, yet his own mind fought back, screaming something. A name maybe? It was hard to make out the words… and then he heard.

_Sammy. _

Then the tears came, a man's tears, and the less human thing laughed within him, cackling at the salty tears that strolled down his cheeks. Crowley watched Dean with queer fascination.

"I must say, Dean, I've never seen a demon cry before," he said. Dean gave Crowley a hateful look. "I'm… I'm not…"

"A demon?" Crowley finished for him. "Well, read the news pal. Your a black-eyed fiend, just… like… _me." _

Once the less human thing's laughter somewhat resided, Dean's tears stopped, until he heard his own mind whisper Sammy softer. _Sammy. Sammy. Sammy. _

It was like an anthem in his head. The less human thing was at bay for now, Dean knew, yet would return later, and return less friendly as well.

So as long as it was at bay, Dean closed his eyes and listen. He hoped. He prayed. He loved. _Will I be able to love anymore? _He didn't know. All he heard now was Sammy.

_Sammy. Sammy. Sammy. _


	2. Howl At The Moon

Crowley's definition of howling at the moon was odd, odd enough to make Dean wear an expression of annoyance when they arrived on the ridge.

Thick beams of silver moonlight streamed in through the trees hanging above the ridge, lighting the stony floor.

Ahead, on the black sky, above the forest, was a full moon, it's essence as radiant as it could ever be.

Dean didn't understand. He almost didn't _want _to understand. Ever since he awoke, Crowley had been acting as if he was Dean's teacher.

But that wasn't what really bothered him. The moment Dean set foot on that ridge the less human thing within him seemed to shriek. Almost as if Dean… _wanted _to howl at the moon.

"Feel it, puppet?" Asked Crowley. Dean stood stony as the ground beneath him. "I feel nothing," he began, "nothing at all."

"You're lying," Crowley replied. "I know you feel it. It's a… a _call. _Almost universal. Go ahead, Dean, answer it."

Dean turned to face Crowley, sick of the King of Hell's games. "I'm not answering anything. I'm not answering anything until-"

"You see Moose, I know," replied Crowley, knowing the end of that sentence even before Dean did. But yes, Dean wanted Sam.

_Sammy. Sammy. Sammy. _

The less human thing within him laughed again, pushing Sammy's name further and further away. _No… NO…_

He needed Sam, he _needed _him. He wouldn't let the less human thing destroy him. But yet…

Dean _howled. _He howled until his lungs strained in tension and his throat grew hoarse. He howled until his blood boiled and the moon seemed much brighter. Crowley watched, like the teacher he thought he was, smiling.

Then he heard it.

_Sammy. Sammy. Sammy. _

He stopped abruptly, the less human thing that made him howl recoiling, angry that Dean stopped.

His other half, his _good _half, told him there was no need to howl at the moon. No need at all. He needed _Sammy. _

_Sammy. Sammy. Sammy. _

He felt like two hands were stretching him apart. In a nearby puddle he saw his face… his eyes black as the atmosphere above.

Crowley approached the distraught Dean. "Why did you stop?" He asked, his thick english accent almost deafening. "Because I wanted to stop," replied Dean. Crowley smiled even brighter. "_Winchesters… _arrogant, ignorant, and rude. Remember that lady in the diner? Didn't even finish your cheeseburger…"

"Shut up_…" _ Dean growled, his voice flooded with pain and loss and the years before and ahead. "Now-now, Dean, don't get snippy," said Crowley.

"_Shut up…" _warned Dean. "I don't like being quiet, I like hearing myself talk, Dean," replied Crowley.

"_SHUT UP!" _Dean could feel veins all over his body bulging, his thick muscles red and heated. "_JUST SHUT… THE HELL… UP!" _

His voice seemed to travel through the forest below, seeping in between the trunks of trees like poison.

Then the less human thing spoke, it's voice endless and deep._ No, Dean, _you _shut up. You shut your mouth and listen. Shut your mouth and howl. _

His good half responded. _No…_

The less human thing seemed to smile. _Yes…_

His good half fought back the only way it knew it could.

_Sammy. Sammy. Sammy. _

Then Dean grabbed Crowley by his black collar and brought the two boys face to face in a flash of anger on one side and amusement on the other.

"Kill me," said Dean. "Kill me Crowley. I _can't _live like this, _not like this!" _

Crowley pushed him away, still smiling that dark, dark smile. "No. You have much to learn Dean."

Dean collapsed to his knees. When did he become so weak? The less human thing laughed again.

His good half responded yet again, the only way it knew it _could. _

_Sammy. Sammy. Sammy…_

_Sammy. _


	3. Like A Leech

"Concentrate," said Crowley, his voice calm and firm, "don't focus too hard though." Rage coursed through Dean. "How the hell am I supposed to _concentrate _but not focus too hard?"

Crowley rolled his eyes. "For Devil's sake Dean, just follow my directions," Crowley replied. "I am following your directions Crowley, but they suck!"

The mirror before Dean reflected his own image. His black eyes looked stark in contrast to his light brown hair. His clothes were washed though, the dirt and blood eradicated. That at least made Dean at ease.

"The first rule of being a demon, Dean, is to know how to hide your true self," instructed Crowley, slowly and clearly. "You can't be walking around with dark eyes now."

Dean scowled. "I know, Crowley." Crowley sighed. "Think yourself human-"

"I _am _human, Crowley." Crowley rolled his eyes again. "You're in denial, Dean. Your a demon."

"You _made _me a demon," Dean reminded him fiercely, his voice rough and deep as always.

"Enough of this rubbish. _Concentrate."_

And he did. His good half said _Sammy. Sammy. Sammy. _And the less human thing subsided a little, and soon his eyes reverted back to their bright green.

Dean stared at his self. "I did it," said Dean. "You did," replied Crowley. Then the less human thing clawed back at the surface. _I am inevitable _it said.

His eyes changed to black, but Dean fought, and fought, and _fought…_

_Sammy. Sammy. Sammy._

His eyes yet again returned to their bright green. His tan jacket and blue jeans seemed more normal too. He was Dean Winchester again. And he needed to find Sam.

"I need to find Sam," Dean finally said. "He thinks… he think's I'm dead."

"Better leave it that way, if Sam founds out that your a demon…"

"He won't."

"Dean, Dean, the darkness inside of you won't be kept at bay for long. It'll burn it's way out. Your humanity still clings to you… like a leech… but I promise it won't for long."

Dean moaned. "I won't let it," Dean began, "I won't _let _it."

"It'll surely drown you," Crowley started, "and if you don't stop complaining I hope it does."

Dean turned to look at Crowley, hate filling his eyes. "You did this. Undo it."

"Unless you have a death wish, then no."

Dean shook his head. "Let me go."

Crowley then snarled. "NO." Crowley flings his hand up and Dean flies to the ceiling and clings to it.

"You will _obey _me, or die."

And so Dean did.


	4. Sammy

_Sammy. Sammy. Sammy. _

He would remember that name, forever and ever. Dean would not forget his brother's name. The less human thing maybe had him in his clutches, but not hard enough it did.

_Sammy. Sammy. Sammy. _

_Sammy…_

_Sammy. _

THE END.


End file.
